Memorial Day

In the US today is Memorial Day, a national holiday commemorating US men and women who died while on military service. While it was moved from its original date to accommodate a three day weekend, and it’s traditionally the start of summer and the day of the Indianapolis 500, Memorial Day is still observed as a day of gratitude for those who sacrifice their all on our behalf.

Memorial Day is something commemorated in one form or another in many places around the world. In the United Kingdom there is Armistice Day, specifically remembering the day on which World War One officially ended. Where I come from in Australia we have Anzac Day, recognizing the members of the Australia and New Zealand Army Corps who fought and died during a particularly bloody defeat in the Dardanelles during “the war to end all wars”.

What most of these days have in common is coming together to express thankfulness, honor and respect. The original Memorial Day was to honor the fallen Union troops of the Civil War. Over time we have come to extend our days of remembrance to include all those who have sacrificed during wartime, whatever we think of the original conflicts and causes. In Australia Turks who fought against the Australians at Gallipoli march alongside their one time enemies in commemorative parades, joined together in showing respect and regret for all death and warfare.

One of the Basic Interpersonal Skills is to “always make the effort to make things better”. One aspect of this is “being firm with the facts, and fair with the people”. Memorial Day is an occasion to think about the cost and pain of warfare. Our national days of mourning are an opportunity to show honor and respect for our past, present and future members of the military, and by extension our police, medical, fire and other services who put themselves in danger every day to serve and protect. It’s a good time to consider how we can all live so their sacrifices are properly respected.

My final (?) comment on my surgery

Last week I ventured out into public professionally for the first time since my operation. It’s been about three and a half months since the diagnosis and operation to repair the faulty valve in my heart. Everyone I met was wonderfully supportive.

It’s good to be among colleagues who are also friends and to have a work environment that is also a positive social environment. It got me thinking about how important friendship is, even at work.

In my work with clients I emphasize the importance of a supportive network of positive relationships. My surgery and the experience afterwards was a reminder that it’s not only at work that supportive networks are important. A Wall Street Journal Article this weekend quoted an Australian university study of more than fifteen hundred women over fourteen years. It found that that the women with the most friends lived an average of 22% longer than the women with the fewest friends. That’s an enormous difference, and it’s repeated over and over with very little variation in the scientific literature.

Sometimes I hear people at work say “I’m not here to make friends”. Well sure, that’s not why you’re coming to work. However, it’s foolish to forgo the opportunity to build a supportive network in your work environment. We know that having fewer friends will make your personal life much more difficult, not to mention the professional effect of missing out on the support of your colleagues .

I’m extremely grateful for all the support I received from all our friends, clients and colleagues. Genevieve and I spent the last month of my recovery “getting away from it all” in Europe, (that’s us in the picture at Versaille in Paris). We traveled around, exercised every day and caught up with family and friends, even staying with some of our old clients who crossed that line and became our good friends as well. When I left Minneapolis I still couldn’t lift my carry-on into the overhead locker. Now I feel brand new after a month of fresh air, lots of exercise and constant contact with people who care.

This is an open thank you to everyone who was so wonderful. Speaking professionally, it’s given me encouragement to keep doing what I do. Speaking personally, it’s given me a sense of humility and gratitude for the great people I’m surrounded by.

This will probably be the last posting specifically covering my operation and afterwards. Now it's time to get back to a full focus on work. One thing I do know...over the next period of my life it's time to pay this forward with everyone I can.

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